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Why does my cat knead me but not my husband?

why does my cat knead me but not my husband

What is a cat doing when it kneads?

A cat kneads when it continually sticks their paws out and back, alternating usually between their front left and front right paws. Many people say kneading resembles a cat kneading dough. Cats are known to knead on countless objects, including but not limited to pillows, blankets, carpets, walls, and as you may know from personal experience: humans. Sometimes cats will combine kneading with another behavior, as you may have witnessed your cat purring and kneading a blanket.

What does it mean when a cat kneads you?

Unlike other behaviors such as , veterinarians and cat behaviorists are not 100% sure why cats kneads. There are many theories that seek to explain this behavior, including:

1) Cats use kneading to spread their scent onto other objects or people
2) The behavior stems from their time as kittens, when they had to rub their mom’s tummy to stimulate the fresh flow of milk
3) Cat kneading stems from ancient cat behavior before they were domesticated, when they used to have to dig or push down bushes for a bed.

There are also many theories as to why cats knead certain people and not others. This article was inspired by one of our readers, Kathy, who reached out to us asking why her Siamese cat constantly kneads her but not her husband. Thus, we have made this comprehensive list to offer answers for your question.

Why does my cat knead me but not my husband

1. Cats like to knead things or people that they share a bond with.

Whether it’s a special pillow, toy, or you, cats tend to knead on objects that offer them comfort or security. Naturally, this will be people that they are emotionally connected to and share a bond with. 

2. Cats will knead people who are their main care takers. The person who gives them their food, play with them the most, clean their litter box, etc.

You could use this reasoning to convince your husband to clean the litter box more often.

3. Cats like to knead on objects that are calm and sit still

Cat kneading is tied to calmness and relaxation. Maybe your cat has noticed that your husband moves around a lot or can be fiegety at times. Even if your husband sits still for a moment, your cat remembers your husband’s behavior and will probably hesitate to knead on him if he thinks he will make a quick movement.  

4. Cats can prefer to knead on certain types of material (cotton, wool, etc.)

Maybe you are wearing a certain material of clothing that your cat really likes. This could be why your cat is kneading you and not your husband. Maybe it’s time for your husband to have a wardrobe change.

5. Scent

As you are probably aware, scents play a huge role in the cat world. There is a chance that your cat is very attracted to your scent, or it makes your cat relaxed and at ease. Perhaps you could spray some of your perfume on your husband and see if it works.

If you have a cat for long enough, you will realize how sporadic his/her behavior can be at times. Also, cats tend to direct certain behavior to certain people or scents that they recognize. Aside from kneading, your cat may only bring dead animals to a certain person’s shoes and not others. Cats are very habitual animals, which is why they sometimes direct certain behaviors to only one person. So to all those husbands out there who may feel jealous because your cat is kneading me and not my husband, don’t sweat it.

Cat kneads me and not my husband? Share your story

Do you have a cat that is only kneading you and not your husband or other people in the house? Share your stories below! If we get enough responses we can compile all of your experiences into a comical blog post.

More questions and answers about cat kneading

Why do cats knead air?

Sometimes cat will knead air when they are on their back and your are petting them. This is because kneading is linked to relaxation or pleasure. This is similar to the scratch reflex in dogs when they repeatedly kick their leg around. 

My cat doesn’t knead

Don’t worry, although there are many questions still left to be answered about cat kneading, cat behaviorists classify cat kneading as a voluntarily behavior that is only present in some cats. A cat that doesn’t knead does not have any problems.

Cat keeps kneading. Is kneading bad?

If your cat keeps kneading, there is also no need to worry. Vets have not found any side effects or negative health outcomes connected to cat kneading. It just means your cat is in a relaxed or happy state of mind.

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